thought of the day. November 6, 2009

been sick these 2 days after the micro economy strategic, those SMEs thingy, and my little business >.< oohh i really thank God i don’t have routine things to do everyday, so i can take rest!

well, these past few days i’ve been messaging with my besty. about faith. i don’t know, but i feel some magic surrounding me everyday for every little thing happened to me. something we called bless. it’s a blessing i could count on, especially this topic i’ve talked to.

i feel so tired few days ago so i couldn’t sleep, and these words spinning on my head: there were 3 typical men in the pool. man 1 is the typical man who doesn’t swim, he just having sunbathing. not because he couldn’t swim, but the thought of there will be no one care and would help him if he falls. man 2 is someone who swim in the pool side, he’s just watching people swim. and if his legs become shaky and tired, he can immediately go up. man 3 is someone who swim from point to point. if his legs become tired and he feels like fall, he believes there will be team to help him. or maybe people around him.

long time ago, somebody had asked me, “why must i believe in someone called God, for everything happens will the same when i don’t believe; there will be happiness and sorrow. what is the meaning of joy in believing, because i feel more sorrow when following Him you called The One?”

well, i appreciate what you feel and what you think. people have their own intention of believing. it’s humanity rights. each of us cannot judge who is right and who is wrong. nor we couldn’t say who’s the best of all. because who are we? we’re not God, knowing the truth. Only One knows the answer. just follow what you feel.

mmmm, now i want to answer those questions above. maybe i don’t have the most exact answer, but here it is in my head and my heart. i don’t seek the answer of every question come through, for there will be time. the question of joy after sorrow, the question of who am i? what i’m here for? what do You want for me? because we are here for a or some reasons. there will be time you know the answer. be patient for that. just make it simple living in this world.

believe, all your faith will be paid for those answers.

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

PS. thanks ratna for the sharing. you know it’s a blessing to know you in my life :*anw, i love the verse.

to beloved Benedictus Xie Xie Batitong. November 3, 2009

August 30, 2009.

i was planned to having saturday nite out with my sister, Naomi. it was 4 PM and i’ve just arrived to citos from campus (fortunatelly there was my friend picked me up so i won’t take a long time to go to citos ) then i phoned Naomi, because she was too late. obviously, she still busy with ‘rabbit’ and said would be there about one hour. argh.

then she showed up. and apologize for being late. she then told me what happened about, that she had bought rabbit for me. little grey rabbit. oh-my-goat, that was so touching, remembering that she’d just got job and would leave me all day long (i was just quit from my last job). she said that he was for me, to be my friend accompanying the days ahead.

then i named him xie xie.

September 06, 2009.

i was too happy because of xie xie. every people in my house made busy with the coming of beautiful xie xie. he’s fat, shy, and calm. it was saturday nite, one week later, when Naomi and me made an baptizing to xie xie. my mother joined with us (i think so, but she sat far from us, yeah what ever). then his full name became BENEDICTUS XIE XIE BATITONG. i then gave him my rosary. then we watch tv together.

the days after that was cute. when xie xie was still stalled in the house, he keeps left a pees that made me busy to mop the floor. and another poops. haha. he’s so cute. he couldn’t walk in the floor because it is too slick for him to walk. that’s make him calm. but actually he was trying. and no longer after that he could walk in cute way. lol.

there was time when Naomi and me practised him some sports. Naomi tied his ears with scrunchy and we stirred his body like gymnastic motions.

the weather in Jakarta slowly turned to rainy days. xie xie was moved to our backyard. there was time when the day rained a lot, and i forgot to take him in. i was so worried of that. fortunately xie xie is smart kiddo, he’s hiding in our shoe cabinet. but he’s cold. Naomi and i then picked him in and gave him warm.

i think xie xie is mad with me and my sister. there was time when he didn’t want to walk along when we called him. he hides. he was so cute even when he’s mad

i was so worried seeing xie xie’s hand and foot was bald. something wrong happened with him, i thought so. i told Naomi we should take him to veterinary, but she said he’s ok. he’s just biting his nails. but i still didn’t sure about that.

but xie xie looked fine.

November 02, 2009.

it was 2 AM in early morning. i was still working with my assignment and revising the paper. the weather of the night is clear and bright. about 2.30 AM i then went bed.

i woke op about 8 AM then do my daily morning routine: to greet xie xie. there was still his watercress there, then i asked my self, this is not usual because xie xie used to have breakfast at 6 AM. then i looked for him, and slowly got scared. i couldn’t find him. then i texted my sister asking where he was. i really thought he was hiding by my sister. no answer. then i looked for him, again.

under the cupboard, i found him. i called him, maybe he’s sleeping. no motion. my God, i became scared. then i called him again. no no. no answer. then i shaked him with my shoe. no motion. i totally scared. he died.

benedictus xie xie batitong leaves me. and my sister. and my family. and my friends.

then i shifted him out to cupboard. my God, the tiny rabbit was just goin to heaven. his hands were folded, seemed like he’s cold. his body hair was wet, seemed like he’s rained.

i couldn’t hardly believe he’s gone.

he’s too young to die. my friends and i will gonna baptize xie xie in bandung in aryo’s new pond next december.

yet, i even don’t buy him shed.

…

i’m gonna miss the way he sit.

i’m gonna miss the way he sleep.

and the way he coils his self.

and the way he runs in the house.

and the way he unloads the trash.

i remember when we’re racing to get him when he played in the kitchen. when he fulled the backyard with his pees and poops. when he screamed out in the night at first days he came in.

so many things xie xie had doing for making me happy and delight. i am totally gonna miss him.

yesterday, i just sat down and pray, singing for him. and i took candles for him. and still.

bye bye my beloved xie xie, the place you go must be more interesting than here. you should be happy for that. you know what? i love you, kiddo. and now i miss you.

PS. photos will follow. i’m just too sad so i can’t search for his photos. but i will do.

my first mid-test is over. October 24, 2009

11:25 PM. just woke up after 4 hours resting.

yayyyy!! finally the mid-test is over, yippiee!! hohohooo, you should see how exhausted my class at last test and you should know how fun my older classmates (whose them are medium and top level now) facing the mid-term “it’s been long time not to doing test, and i pass it today, i’m so grateful y’know. oh let the lecturer grade us anw, i don’t really care lol” said one of adira’s top manager.

but but but but buttt… i got sick i felt it last nite when doing the paper project. i feel uncomfy, and it’s getting more sick after test.. thanks to buana for giving me drive near to home, so i shouldn’t be friends with those goodamn saturday nite’s traffic.

i should take a rest before those lovely post i outta do. hihi.

PS. counting down to the final result of calls for paper. oh God i believe You do the beauty rest.

PSS. silent and dark nite, when everybody’s fall asleep, with peter gabriel’s the book of love and tissue and WP, this is very sweet. i love this moment.

something you should know before the mid-test. October 23, 2009

i thank God for all the lovely songs surrounding me.

hehehe. it’s counting down to my HC mid-test anyway. but i can’t help myself writing today mmm as my feeling said that i feel love today. no, not because i’m in love but because the lovely songs. pretty lyrics. i know, deep down the songs, they told us the beauty of live. the beauty of love. so why should we change direction into something that not into ourself? i proudly say that i love love-song

well, these are the current songs i listen into my iTunes:

• nicole kidman & ewan mcgregor – come what may
• the real group – love and let go
• peter gabriel – the book of love
• andrea bocelli – e sara’ a settembre
• andre hehanusa – karena ku tahu engkau begitu (KKEB)
• biola tak berdawai
• five for fighting – dying
• gwyneth paltrow & huey lewis – cruisin
• michael buble – everything
• tori amos – sleep with butterfly
• the verve – the drugs don’t work
• the killers – white demon love song

well, do you have any? just tell me.

the book of love. October 23, 2009

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It’s full of charts and facts and figures,
and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that’s where music comes from
Some of it’s just transcendental
Some of it’s just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It’s full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we’re all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
And I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings…

peter gabriel is accompanying me studying RM and HC this all night long . suddenly i remember the song because of my friend, mijah’s tweet. oh it’s so sweet and this is what she tweet after i thanked her:

mijah's latest tweet before i go bed

aw miaaa, you make me blushy-faceeee wekekekeke… nah-nah-nah i love the song literally, not only the last words

and she keeps laughing on me

nice day. assignment done, well-prepared for tomorrow’s test, blog-walking (still, while studying ), peter gabriel, good friends. thank you all.

and now i close the story of the day with the song the book of love.

you can sing me anything…

what’s on saturday. October 11, 2009

actually i want to publish in my tumblr but something uncovenience happened :S sick of it! ah what ever, i had an terrific saturday. well i had class until 4 PM (one week left before the midtest, huhuhuuu) and should go to my ES reunion party @ kemang.

RM is extremely interesting, actually. i'm just too hyper

this wass just my imagination well you know i was totally into the class kok you know that mostly women are multi-talented? well that’s i really am i just can’t help myself do nothing while totally pay attention to something. i write while listeining, and i draw while studying at class. you cannot say it’s a bored

reunion bash, left to right: heykal, sandy, ayu, maureen, chessy, me, wiwi, cici. james and muly came up so late

after class i was heading to kemang, jsouth jakarta. we’re having bash at Le Codefin. i went home at early morning (about 2:34 am and arrived at 3:34 am you know?!) and didn’t feel cool enough to doing the thingy. you know, i’m not a party-goers well, so excuse me?